The List

And so the list shortens as yet more names are ticked off.

You see, I leave Soto del Real in less than a week, so I have already started my goodbyes. You know, I find goodbyes quite interesting. You see, on the surface, goodbyes really are a bummer. And on the surface I don't like them. But they really are quite good. First of all, they make you actually realize who has impacted you and who you should appreciate. And they make you appreciate that person. I have probably already said goodbye to around 30 people, among them some of my best friends, and until I started to do goodbyes, I didn't even realize that some of them would be people I would feel the need to say goodbye to. For example, I just got back from an end of the year basketball thing, and I went thinking I would say goodbye and thanks to just my coach. But I found that I couldn't allow myself to leave until I said goodbye to a handful of other people in the organization. And until that goodbye moment, you don't really realize how important or how much some one has done for you over the course of your relationship with them. And realizing how much I have under-appreciated some of the people I have gotten to know over the course of my year here really almost makes me feel guilty, which, as those of you that know me well should know, is not very common. And that is what makes goodbyes a good thing.
The other thing that is good about goodbyes is that they allow you to see exactly what your relationship is with the person you are saying goodbye to. When you are saying goodbye, everything that you have built up with someone since you first met them is compressed into one single moment. And in that moment, you see exactly what your relationship was. Whether it was that of close friends, or that of friends who would go out and party together but not hang out every day together, or that of just passing business-like acquaintances. Because, in that moment, both parties step out from behind their walls, and just let their guard down, and just show exactly what they feel. And because of this, I, at least in a way, really do like goodbyes. And especially goodbyes between real friends. I mean, the feeling you get when you are giving a goodbye hug to a close friend is just beyond compare. The feeling of your love for them flowing out of you and into the hug, and their love for you seeping into you, it's just amazing. I mean, it is way better than any drug, or at least any drug I have tried. And really it is a feeling that you can't and won't get anywhere else, and that feeling really draws me in, and almost makes me enjoy the goodbye, even though I know that it means not seeing that person again, at least for a while.
But anyway, the point of the post was to say that the time for goodbyes has started. And, although I would rather just stay here and not have to say goodbye, they have to be done.
Well, at the moment I don't have anything more to say, so I will go ahead and leave y'all with a song that has kind of been my song of the moment over the past couple days. Here's a link to it: Closing Time - Semisonic
So, that is all. A few more random short posts might come over the next week as I slowly mentally destabilize as a result of the goodbyes, but I don't know. Till next time.